This kind of thing can make you feel quite average, or boring. You certainly never feel like you're good enough either. You'll sit there and pick yourself apart, wondering what is so wrong with you. Other times you'll wonder why you go through life seemingly unappreciated by those around you.
Whenever you try to talk to a friend about it, the conversation can either go two ways: one, they try to tell you that you're awesome, or two, they tell you to get over yourself. Neither of these are ever helpful. Actions speak louder than words, if you don't show me I won't believe you. Telling me that I'm just throwing a pitty party for myself is terrible because of obvious reasons.
So where does that leave us? Two words: self acceptance. I know what you're thinking, tell me something someone hasn't already told me. I will, self acceptance doesn't mean confidence, or self love. Everyone always tells you that you have to learn to love yourself to be confident, but they always seem to either skip over the acceptence part or lump it in together.
Learning to accept yourself seems pretty forward, but it's really not. You have to truly accept yourself, and not that bullshit " I do accept myself, I accept that I'm not good enough" crap. Really accept yourself. You have to accept that you have flaws. You have to accept that there will always be someone "better" or "prettier" than you. As negative as that sounds, it gives you peace. Once you accept everything that you "aren't", it allows room for everything that you "are". Accept that you're also a lot of great things. So often, we try to dismiss our amazing qualities as lesser. We always try to focus on what we aren't instead of what we are. There are certain qualities that you have that someone else is probably sitting around wishing that they had. Let's take me for example, I'm an extremely rational person. A lot of my impulsive friends wish that they were more rational like me. This is a quality that I never thought others were jealous of until it was pointed out to me.
You also need to realize that just because someone is "better" at something, that doesn't take away from you. If you take anything away from this blog post, please take that. If you worked really hard and got a 95 on an exam, the girl sitting next to you getting a 100 doesn't mean all your hard work is voided. That doesn't take away from your acheivent. It's the same thing in your romantic life. If the person you like makes you feel like you're second best, or a back up plan that doesn't take away anything from who you are. And can I just point out that anyone who makes you feel like an option doesn't deserve the honor of being your priority. That's something I struggle with too, so don't feel bad. A great First Lady once said that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".
So accept yourself. Accept it all. You are you. Embrace it. It'll be hard some days. Self acceptance doesn't happen over night, and it isn't always a done deal. Things will always happen in life that make you feel that second best/insecure feeling. Self acceptance is the difference between beating yourself up, and being able to move on.
Once you accept yourself you're on the track to loving yourself. Once I made peace with the fact that I would never be perfect or the "best" it allowed me to move on. I'm not all the way to loving myself, but I know I'll get there. I think self acceptance really opens the door to things such as confidence, happiness, and a better quality of life.
These are just some 2am thoughts that's I had about this. So what do you think? Do I make sense, or am I just way off base? Let me know how you feel in the comments. Need advice on anything? Let's converse.
Cali out-
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